


Breaking Things

by marysiak



Category: The Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Angst, Christmas, M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-23 19:02:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6126922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marysiak/pseuds/marysiak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>slashababy fic for Codie who asked for “Dom/Elijah or Billy/Dom Angsty smut”. I went heavy on the angst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breaking Things

Disclaimer: It’s all lies! Evil evil lies!  
Author’s notes: slashababy fic for Codie who asked for “Dom/Elijah or Billy/Dom Angsty smut”. My apologies for such a cliched scenario but angst is not my forte, in fact I rather loathe angst. I like happy funny fics.   
  
He hated her. It was as simple as that. He had tried and he was done trying. There was just no try left in him.  
  
When they were alone together he had to hold back the hiss that hovered under every word. He knew she saw it though. Actor or not he was appallingly bad at hiding his real feelings as soon as he was off stage or out from behind the camera.  
  
She didn't hate him though. She pitied him, and he despised her all the more for it. Despised her confidence, her utter security that he was no real threat. He was a fucking threat! He'd show her just how much of a fucking threat he could be.  
  
Never underestimate the pulling power of Dominic Monaghan.  
  
Right now she was sitting opposite him on the sofa with her legs in Billy's lap. He wanted to scoop her eyeballs out with a spoon and stamp them into jelly.  
  
But in two hours she was leaving. Christmas eve with her family, a full twenty-four hours before she'd be back for the Christmas dinner he was making for them all.  
  
He figured if things didn't work out tonight he could always poison her.  
  
\---  
  
He ate peaches out a can in the kitchen while Billy saw her off. Cut his finger on the lid trying not to think about them kissing. Watching the blood run through the syrup on the peach he was holding he thought about how badly this was probably going to end.  
  
It didn't matter though, didn't change what he was going to do. He didn't have a choice.   
  
Billy spoke from the kitchen door. "You're bleeding on your food."  
  
"Yeah," he answered as the blood reached the end of the peach and dripped into the open can.   
  
"Dom?" Billy sounded worried.  
  
"S nothing. Just a nick."  
  
"You sure? Could be serious, you could lose the whole hand."  
  
The joke fell flat. Billy knew something was wrong, Dom had been seeing it in his eyes, he just didn't know what. He wouldn't ask straight out, it just wasn't his way. Dom liked that about Billy, that bit of restraint, that Scottish reserve. You couldn't read Billy easily, only his real friends saw what was in there.  
  
"I'm fine." He ate the last peach slice and rinsed his fingers under the tap. It stung a little. "Let's get pissed."  
  
\---  
  
"O little town of Bethlehem," Billy sang. "How still I see thee lie." His eyes were half shut, his feet on the coffee table, his hands folded round his glass, resting on his belly.  
  
Dom liked the way his mouth shaped the O, liked the way he sang little, liked the way his chest fell slowly then heaved back up before the next line, liked everything about this moment right here and right now.   
  
Everything but the fact that he was about to shatter it. Because it was time.  
  
Sometime in the next ten minutes Billy was going to yawn and empty the last dregs of his drink. Smile and make some joke about Saint Nick not coming if they weren't asleep, and go to bed. And then it would be too late.  
  
"Billy?" he said quietly.  
  
"The hopes and fears... yeah? ... of all the years are met..."  
  
Dom reached over and took the near empty glass from him. Billy opened his eyes.  
  
Dom kissed him.  
  
"How silently, how silently, the wondrous gift is given," sang the choir on the tv.  
  
It wasn't the first time he had kissed Billy, he kissed people a lot. Which was why Billy didn't pull away, just kissed back. For a moment or two. He felt the uncertainty in him as the kiss lasted too long. Felt him try to draw back but have nowhere to go. But his mouth was still soft and open under his.  
  
Billy's hands came up and Dom caught them before they could start to push him away. But that left him no defence when Billy finally turned his head aside. Dom satisfied himself with kissing his cheek and then on down his neck. Billy had the most amazingly soft skin.  
  
"Hey!" Billy laughed nervously. "What's with all this?"  
  
"Christmas present," Dom mumbled into his jaw.  
  
"And here I thought you were getting me a new wet suit."  
  
"That's just a stocking filler." He let go of one of Billy's hands and started to unbutton his shirt.  
  
"Hey, seriously," Billy protested, looking a bit bewildered. "What's going on, you've been weird all day?"  
  
"I was just worried," Dom answered, eyes nervous as he looked up, his hand resting on Billy's stomach.  
  
"About what?"  
  
"That you wouldn't like my Christmas present."   
  
He waited.  
  
Billy stared at him for a long moment, one hand on Dom's arm, the other clasping his hand.   
  
"Dom," he said slowly. "What is my Christmas present?"  
  
Dom looked down at Billy's throat to avoid his eyes. "I am."  
  
He met Billy's eyes again only momentarily before ducking to lick at his neck. Billy's hand on his arm made no attempt to stop him sliding his hand under Billy's t-shirt.  
  
"What?"  
  
The button on his jeans was already undone for comforts sake, Dom made short work of the zip, disappointed that there was no bulge under his hand waiting to be let out.  
  
"Dom!"  
  
He reached inside.  
  
"Dom cut it out, it's not funny."  
  
"It's not meant to be." He squeezed Billy lightly through the cotton of his shorts.   
  
"I mean it! Stop, right now."  
  
Dom stopped. He didn't withdraw, he just stopped, hand still resting inside Billy's jeans. He didn't look directly at Billy, just at his chin and his ear and his cheek. "Let me do this," he asked softly. "Just once. Let me have this... please." He felt his cheeks flush a little although his voice remained steady.  
  
"Dom. please look at me."  
  
He did, Billy looked scared.  
  
"Why are you doing this? Don't do this."  
  
"I need to. Please," with his eyes he begged Billy to understand, but he didn't.   
  
"I don't even know what you're asking for. I mean..."  
  
"Just ... just let me... I'll do everything, you don't have to do anything. Or you can if you want. I mean if you wanted you could..."  
  
"Could what?"  
  
Somehow he couldn't say it, the moment was so fragile as it was and to bring out that word. that harsh word. something might break. And the other... no neither were right. And besides, he wouldn't would he, he'd never agree to it. He broke the eye contact. "Never mind, it doesn't matter. Just... sit there and let me do this. You don't have to do anything."  
  
Dom stood up and pushed the coffee table back, pulled Billy's jeans off and then carefully slid down his boxers. It all happened slowly and carefully and he didn't dare to look up into Billy's eyes until it was nearly over in case the connection reminded Billy he shouldn't be doing this. He tried to memorise every touch and taste, but found the importance of doing that made the doing of it almost impossible. His stomach was twisted in knots, his mouth so dry at first he thought his tongue must surely feel like sandpaper. His hands were cold and sweaty and he felt as if he had a slight fever.   
  
It wasn't supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be warm and easy and perfect.   
  
Billy had one hand in Dom's hair and the other in a tight grip on the sofa, he was visibly trying not to thrust into Dom's mouth, making soft choked noises that didn't sound at all like the noises that came through the wall when he and Cath were in bed together. All of a sudden Dom didn't want to be there any more, didn't want to be doing this. He felt tears sting at his eyes. It would be over soon though. Over.  
  
He finally looked up as Billy came. Hadn't he wanted to see this, see his face when he came, when he came because of Dom?  
  
He looked as if he were in pain, his lip was bitten, his eyes screwed tight shut.  
  
Dom sat back as Billy opened his eyes, looking at the floor, at his knees, at his hands, at Billy's thighs.  
  
"Dom?"   
  
There were those tears again. He fisted his hands until the nails stuck into his palms and didn't answer.  
  
"Dom?"  
  
"I... I'm sorry," he managed. Then he got up and went through to his bedroom without putting on the light. Crawled into the bed fully clothed and stared at nothing.  
  
In the living room Billy finished his drink. His hands were shaking. He couldn't see anything but the imprint of Dom in his mind. Dom on his knees, Dom with his mouth around Billy's cock. Dom refusing to look at him. Dom with swollen lips and tears in his eyelashes.  
  
He tidied himself up slowly.  
  
He paused outside Dom's room and put his hand on the door. He didn't know what to do. He always knew what to do with Dom, what to say, what was needed. or he thought he had. He didn't know what to do any more. He leaned his head against the door and thought about crying.  
  
Inside, Dom already was.


End file.
